When you don't know just what to think.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREAT. Just as I thought he was starting to like me, Sarah tells me I shouldn't like him for reasons she can't tell me (right now). I'm really curious because I think he's a nice person. I really really like him. She said she found out some things about him that makes her beg to differ, and I'd really like to know why, because if she doesn't tell me, I won't think it's that bad and I'll continue to like him.

If something's so bad, why is she still with him too??
JKL:DJKSLEJUISO VJDI R##$(II>IIRKLW"JD KSDJPSJ


ahhhhhhhhhhh.
sigh. I don't know what to think.

SHOOT. I forgot the contract thingyyyyy. Man, my grade this semester's gonna get docked a letter grade. Man, and it's not even my fault! I didn't lose the stinkin' paper.

::cries:: are you sure I can't like him? HE'S SO KYOOOOOOTE. Mannn.
Back to the drawing board, I guess?

I don't hate her anymore either. Well, "hate" being that I don't really hate people. I just usually dislike them a lot because they annoy me. Anyhoo, yeah, I don't dislike her anymore. We cool, we cool. WEEEE COOOO.

I hate this computer. (OK, hate does apply to inatimate objects). The stupid freakin' mouse doesn't work unless I move it when its on my leg or when it's on my sweater. gooooooglishiffduh. I have nothing to do.

Man, I kinda wanted to wear my costume today. I figured that the long robeness would get in my way though. Oh, and the fact that today's halloween and I still don't have my white collared shirt that I most absolutely need for my costume. I'M INCOMPLETE WITHOUT IT.

So.



yep.



I got nothing to do.




GIMME SOMETHING TO DO.





save my sanityyyyy.





I don't know.





Things happen?





BOOOOOOOOO.




Haha, get it?





It's Halloween, I'm a ghost!






yeah.






I have nothing else to do.






Pathetic.




Okay. So.
Friday was freakin' awesome. I won't get into it, but it suuuuure was.

And I'm gonna go. Gonna go sit with Sarah.

<3 happy halloweeeeeez! =w=

love,
deanna

Rebel without the gauze.

So I'm back in Journalism. Like every other day during the week. EXCEPT FOR TOMORROW BECAUSE I'M GOING ON THE MMA FIELD TRIP BECAUSE MMA IS AWESOME YEAH YEAH YEAH UHHHHHH WHUUUUUUUUT.

help me out, yeah. you know you gotta help me out, yeah.

ass <--- that's sarah. tabbing ass like whuuuuuut.



Haha, so last night I got an idea. I want the Booty Coat back like...bad. I texted Julian and asked him, "If I gave you $20 for the Booty Coat, would you give it to me?" and this morning he texted me back and said yes. So I'm getting the Booty Coat today after school. I think it's kinda stupid that I'm paying for a jacket THAT WASN'T EVEN HIS IN THE FIRST PLACE but I have like, $100 and it's not going to really dent my wallet that bad. Besides, I WANT THAT COAT BACK. We'll see. Maybe I'll just shut the door in his face and take the coat and give him no money because it's not even his. He's had it for about a year now. I just want to surprise Monica by getting it. She'll be happy. $20 is worth it if it makes her happy. Just trying to be a good friend, y'know? I guess sometimes there's a price on it. It doesn't really bother me much.

$20 isn't that much, and I like that coat a lot more than all those other coats I saw yesterday at Gottschalk's, which were all $35 and up. Most of them were really cheap fabric and probably weren't going to keep me very warm. My mom got all embarrassed because I kept saying, "MAN I'M NOT PAYING THAT MUCH FOR THAT!" Clothes are so expensive. It's ridiculous.
And another thing that I hate about clothes, why can't clothing producers just make A PLAIN JACKET. SWEATER. HOODIE. Nothing with any doo-hickies, just a garmetn of clothing to keep you warm. Nothing abnormal from a regular jacket. No faux fur trim. No faux fur little balls on the strings that tighten the hood. NOTHING. JUST A PLAIN THING. Why do all the clothing industries want me to be cold this winter? Is Dickies and American Eagle the only companies striving to keep me warm? AE Jeans and a Dickies hoodie. It's all I ever wear. It's actually all I have to wear.

Yeah, Monica would probably let me wear that coat all winter. She knows I'll at least GIVE IT BACK and not tell her that I burned it in my backyard "on accident." I also won't impregnate her on the hill. Haha, inside joke.

This bracelet smells funny. It reminds me of the hospital. Man. When I think about it, it feels like it never happened. My knee is perfectly fine now. Well, not quite, it still hurts REALLY bad in cold weather.
Like last night, when I went out to the soccer park to watch Mandi play in the playoffs, my knee hurt really bad and was all stiff and stuff. It started hurting when I was walking up the steps of the Ref Shack


You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special
But I'm a creep
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.
I don't belong here.

Creep - Radiohead










I've been listening to Radiohead a lot lately. OMGZ I AM NUT DIPRESD. Kids, it's down the road, not across the street. ::wink!::



hwljkdssjka;fdjslk;fjdsl;ka fjka;urfewqi89e0uwt 84tfr wahhhhhh.
I have nothing to do.
Man I wish I had an iPod. They're so much cooler than my "dellPod." hahah. Who told me that? Oh, it was Alex. King Alex the Fourth to be exact. He's a freakin' geeeeeneeeeusss. MAWWHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHA *crazy scientist laughter*

Ok, well I think I'm going to go. I'm going to go sit next to Fili and umm... do nothing. What's the difference? There really isn't one.

the one and only,
double helix.

The interstate is choking under salt and dirty sand.

OK. Yesterday was pretty weird. During lunch, Stoove*...umm, snorted coke. I hope he gets caught because that's really REALLY REALLY stupid.
I didn't know that Josssshn* did it too. I didn't know he knew what coke was.
Person: HEY U WANT SUM COKE I CAN SKOR U SUM WRITE NOW DOODE
Jossshn: YEAH DOOD I WANT SUM MUTHAFUCKN COKE YEAH here's a $1.25, go get it for me. Mmm...coke-a-cola shureee is gooooood.


People are so retarded and I don't get it. Why ruin your life like that? It's soooo dumb. Sigh.







*Names changed, just because I don't want to embarrass them FOR BEING ANOTHER ONE OF THE COUNTLESS MILLIONS OF DUMB STUPID RETARDED MORONIC PEOPLE.




Man, everyone is so busy in here and I'm...not doing anything. Haha. Sitting here...typing in blogger while everyone is running around the classroom getting last minute work done. Asking Maria what quotes need to be where. Giving pictures to Emy. Everyone's making their daily trip to the printer. Interviews. Stress. It's all here.

Man, this mouse sucks. It only works when I put it on my hoodie.
I GOT SOUL BUT I'M NOT A SOLDIER!

Time. Truth. & Hearts.
Don't you put me on the backburner.


Hahah, so yesterday, completely out of nowhere, Chris sends me a text:
Hey. did u kno u have a nice ass? $Fantana$
...I tell him, no I don't.
he says:
Wel u do. its like no too big and not too small. $Fantana$
...ummmm, Ok?
Haha yea. wel im off to bed. il dream bout grabin ur ass. lol nite $Fantana$

Then I told Fili about it...and he agreed with Chris. AHH!


Oh, and Fili told me this yesterday:
Deanna i freking....idk
i was gonna say i love you
but that's a strong word for me

so I suggested to him "i like you a lot"
and he said yeah that's what I mean.

It's probably in a friendly way, but....I DON'T CARE, I'M MAKING PROGRESS.


And yesterday I got a hug from Alex.













MAN, LIFE IS GOOD. SEEING WEEZER, SEEING RIVERS, GETTING ALL THE MENNNNNNHAHA. NOTTTT.


I think I heard the 5-minute bell, so I'd better go.

Hey, why are you wearing my sweater?

Yeah, so Monica and I did get to go to the Weezer and the Foo Fighters concert. Man, it was freakin' rad.

I SAW RIVERS. RIVERS. YES, YES I DID.

It was fun.
I still think it was random and most coincedental that we saw Matt and Adrian there too. It was funny how Monica couldn't wipe that smile off her face after Matt hugged her twice. I also was humored at how Monica basically flung herself at Matt, and how he was like, "Whoa!" but smiled as equally big as she did. It was real cute. Haha, I love Matt. He's awesome.

Haha, he's wearing that shirt that's like super long. I think it's funny. It looks weird because he's a small guy, and his shirt is like 5894035 times bigger than he is. Haha, sounds like something James Dana would wear.

This is the part where I make fun of James Dana

James Dana's like a midget but wears XXXXXL clothes because he thinks he's a gangster. I hate how he always tries to act like the smart, intellegent kid but also the "I'm a gangster, and I could beat your ass" type. YOU CAN'T DO BOTH. IT'S ONE OR THE OTHER. He's just a stupid kid. I hate how he always says "It's cuz I'm black, huh?" Ten bucks would say if I was like, "Hey, yeah, that black kid, his name is James." He'd be like, "WHAT? IT'S CUZ I'M BLACK HUH?" I wouldn't even be insulting his race, and he still would be offended because he sucks. A lot. If I had a brick for everytime he said that, I could make a wall that stretched longer than the Wall of China. I'd probably have some bricks left over to throw at his stupid little head, too. That actually doesn't sound so bad.


Hahaha.
Everything always reminds me of that.
"Mr. Mawson, what would you do for a Klondike bar?"
"I would throw this chair...right out that window."

And so continues another day in the life of myself. It's moving along at a moderate pace, considering it's still 1st period. I'd say "I want to go home" but there's nothing much to do there on weekdays, and I would probably be bored. School's good only because I have him in a lot of my classes (and she's not there...so I don't have to be heartbroken all day.), I "make his day brighter," he makes my day brighter, and he's nice to look at. What could be better?

Which brings me to the point...why in the hell doesn't he like me? I mean, he tells me how much I make him smile, how I make him feel better when he's sad, he told me about a billion times about how my hair looked really good after I got it cut, he told me that he thought I was really cute the first time he saw me, he told me he had a crush on me last year, HE TELLS ME ALL THIS STUFF AND I'M LIKE WHY DON'T YOU LIKE ME FOR GOD'S SAKE?!?!

It's so confusing.
Sometimes I think he's only saying this because he knows I like him.
I know I sound extremely pessimistic, but I think it's better to see the negative sometimes than the posititve. Because, if you're negative about something, and then it turns out just dandy, you'll be happy and surprised. I'd rather be sad about something and then be surprised, then to be happy and let down. It's just how I see it.

The 5 minute bell just rang, so I need to be winding down.
WHUUUUUUT? Dog? In Journalism? Ok.

Today's Random Picture (There won't be one if Photobucket don't hurry it's little serverbutt up):


It's RIVERS!
from the WEEZER CONCERT!
WAHHHHOOOOOOOO!

Until tomorrow....goodbye.
-deanna.

Don't you put me on the backburner, you know you gotta help me out, yeah!

UHHHHHH. I'M SAM AND I'M FREAKING GAY AND I DON'T CALL PEOPLE WHEN I PROMISE I WILL. I have a feeling that he's not going to invite me to do anything for his birthday.

It really bothers me that I'm always thinking of him and I have a 99.9% feeling that he doesn't think about me more than 5 times during the day. That could be the fact that he's really forgetful, OR BECAUSE HE'S LYING TO ME AND REALLY DOESN'T WANT TO SEE ME. I'm having a hard time distinguishing the two.

Oh well, because GUESS WHO'S GOING TO SEE WEEZER IN LONG BEACH?!?!?!? YEEEEEAHHHHH, I AM!!!!!!! DEEEEEEEEEECENT.

I finally downloaded Chocolate by Snow Patrol to my phone. I was so fustrated because I wanted it really bad and it wouldn't download, even if my life depended on it.
I like the Killers a lot now, I don't really know why, but I do. Yay for the Killers!! Ok...patheticism ending...now. JUST KIDDING! HA HA HA THE PATHETICISM NEVER EVER ENDS. DUH.

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier!!!!!!! YUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
Actually, that's pretty true.



Anyway, so Fili's taken now and...now more than ever I wish that he liked me. It's okay if he's single, but once he's taken, aw hell naw. Now I have to work extra hard if I want to get him to like me. He acts like he likes me, and I don't get it. He doesn't even seem that interested (from what I see) in his girlfriend. I don't know, the world's weird like that. Maybe he's just flirting insanely because he knows I like him. Not another one just leading me on. Man, this flippin' sucks. Maybe if I wasn't such a sucker, I wouldn't fall for the same things everytime.

I love this song more than anything. Okay, not really, but I do like it a lot. Snow Patrol = ♥

There's nothing to do. I'm already done correcting my story and whatnot. Maybe I should try to make it longer on the account that it's smaller than my tolerance for Mr. Patterson and Math combined.
I hate Mr. Patterson.


Fili's hair looks super kyoooooote today. He took my advice and combed it downwards. IT LOOKS HAWWWWT. Haha, it looks REALLY nice is more like it.

Well, there's the 5 minute bell. I GOTS TO GO LOL. C U L8R.

-deanna

I'm finding less and less things in life to be happy about. School sucks. Boys suck. It's bringing me all down, and the sad thing is I'm letting it do so.

No, I'm not tired. I'm um, upset. You don't notice me or seem to care (and like me), and that's the reason. But I can't tell you exactly why because then you'll know I like you and then you'll think I'm creepy.


WHAT????????????
My life can't get any worse.

i was like, "whuuut duhhhh fuuhhhhhhh."

I HATE HISTORY DAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just thought I'd let you all know.
=D

Ghetto rats do farm stuff, yeah!

So I'm in Ms. McCreedy's room. It's 8:30 pm. Why, you ask? Well, I'm here for the Journalism layout! Yay Journalism! It's so cool. I can't wait to be published! Hahah, I sound so flippin' corny.

OK, So I guess I'm becoming like, Lactose Intolerant or something because I get umm..."stomachaches" everytime I consume a big amount of milk products. I'm going into the bathroom (and it's at school, so it's like 50 times worse to be having a "stomachache") and someone yells HELLO!!! all loud. So i say, "Hello?" and it's this little mexican looking chineseman (???). He yells, "WHAT YOU DOING?" I stammer, "Umm I--" He interrupts me and yells, "CANT YOU SEE I CLEAN?! GO USE BATHROOM UPSTAIR!" I run out, panic, "stomachache" and all. Sigh. I even ended up hitting my head on the toilet paper dispenser. Who ever does that?

Maybe I'm not the most unsubtle person in the world, because it seems Fili doesn't understand the little hints that scream "I LIKE YOU, YOU'RE CUTE!"




Great scot! I have just finished my audio script! WAHHHH HOOOOOOO! I just hope it's 5 minutes long....=It should be, it's like, 530-something words. Eh? Even if it's not, I can always add more. That is, if I can find more. Blah. Oh well. We're supposed to have our Master Script done by Friday. I can't do my Master Script because I haven't done my voiceover, and I can't do my voiceover because I haven't finished my audio script because Mr. Patterson sucks. I just finished my Audio Script, well, for the most part, and even if I do my voiceover tomorrow, I probably wouldn't have enough time to digitize the whole thing tomorrow. Since the Lab is open from 12:30 to 5:30 on Saturday, I'm so totally going and doing my voiceover, digitizing everything, doing my master script, and getting everything set. Then, next Tuesday, I can edit it some more and then finish it and pick at it during class. Everything should work out unless my bad luck should pop its ugly head in.

I feel useless, I'm not doing really anything.
I was doing something earlier, but now I'm not. Ehhhhh.

I almost feel like I should go home because I'm not helping out. All I'm doing is sitting here thinking about how I should be doing something, thinking about how I probably scared the buhgeezus out of Alex and about how he probably ran away. Oh, and I keep looking at Fili. I AM SUCH A CREEP. By the way, Creep by Radiohead is a cool song.
I like his shirt.
Mooses are cool. Meeses? Gooses, singular, Geeses, plural. Mooses, Meeses? English kinda sucks sometimes, y'know? Oh well.













BLANKKKK SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN.
NOOO ONNNNNNEEEE CANNNN SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I want to like, walk to Monica's house or something and say hi but:
1) I'm on the East side of town. I will get raped.
2) She's probably not even home.
3) If my parents find out that I walked there alone and in the dark, I will be decapitated.
4) I don't think her parents would appriciate me just randomly showing up on their front door step.
5) Actually, they probably wouldn't care because they like me.
6) But it would be inconvienent.
7) If Carl had Tesa over, I'd be by myself and I would probably shoot myself in the foot.


Siiiiigh.
I WISH I WAS BEING PRODUCTIVE AND HELPING OUTTTT.
But I don't know what to do.



This is Sarah here. Deanna is reading the last column of a story for me and of course its majorly screwed....brb..........................................................................anywho....I'm tired....coffee is goood. I'm insanely tired. And I have more work to do so I'm out. peace and love much later.







haha, Sarah sounds like Dustin. "Peace, Love, later"
and I repeat: haha.

I should go.
-deanna

Seven times too many.

7 Things That Scares Me
1. drowning
2. burning alive
3. my cat dying
4. never getting sam back
5. never seeing monica again (GASPORZ)
6. hurting my knee again
7. pain

7 Things I Like Most About Me
1. my eyes
2. my clothes, i guess
3. my fingernails
4. my...legs i guess
5. i
6. dont
7. know

7 Most Important Things in My Room
1. computer
2. guitar
3. camera
4. bed
5. computer
6. computer
7. computerrrrrr

7 Random Facts About Myself
1. one of my favorite people in the whole wide world happens to be a cat
2. monica is the love of my life, on the other side of sam
3. zombies say COWWWWW
4. pizzaville still sucks
5. i love to eat
6. i make fun of stupid people
7. and i have fun doing it

7 Things I Can Do
1. play guitar
2. make a fool of myself
3. i can listen
4. i can walk
5. i can breathe
6. i can take up space
7. i can eat more than i weigh

7 Things I Can't Do
1. i can't get him back
2. i can't get another one
3. i can't do math even if my life depended on it
4. i can't do everything
5. i can't do anything right
6. i can't solve all your problems
7. i can't even solve mine

7 Things I Say The Most
1. huh?
2. DUDE
3. umm, alright
4. WHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT
5. sup
6. seriously
7. awesome

7 Celebrity Crushes
1. rivers cuomo
2. ewan mcgregor
3. dave grohl
4. harry potter
5. thats
6. about
7. it

7 Things I Hate Most About Me
1. I can be a jerk
2. I can be stubborn
3. i play tetris during math
4. i procrastinate too much
5. I am a negative nancy
6. i will never grow up and you can't make me
7. i'm chicken

7 People I Would Love To See Do This
NO ONE BECAUSE THESE THINGS SUCK
i'm just really bored.

this was from melovesammy.blogspot.com.
i wanted to comment on her page, but noooo, it was gay and wouldn't let me.
that's funny, because me love sammy too. =

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

5 minute bell.
yessss.

-deanna