Chemistry of Kiss

Ahh. My nose itches. But don't worry everyone, i'm not all drugged up on Vicodin. Seriously, people, me? drugged up? [hearty laugh] You guys are really funny.

I'm still worried about Chris. I know everything is okay, and he's probably feeling better (i doubt it) now, but i can't help but constantly wonder what he's up to and how he's doing. Sometimes i wonder why i'm so worried. I guess it's because i love him. But can i love him? I guess it's little 'teenage' love and whatnot, but it's still love, right? And then he's like still a little kid. kind of. In my mind i guess i just picture him as my age, but in reality he isn't. Maybe it's because he's older than he looks. I keep having flashbacks of the one Wednesday, not of how it felt to be kissed but just like, how he looked at me when he did it and if i'll ever see him look at me like that again. There was something about it that just... i don't know. it made me get all.... giggly. I guess i try to help him too much. but is there such a thing as that? I try to help, because i care. But do i care too much? I don't know. I just wish he'd tell me what's wrong. I feel like crap and i want to talk to Chris so bad. I just want to hold him and let him know everything's okay. Then there's Carl. I don't know, i like him a lot too. But i don't know. Nothing ever happens between us. He says he likes me, and i like him, he wants a girlfriend, i want a boyfriend, we're both lonely. It would seem we're good to go, but that's kind of shallow. though, we do have a lot in common. yeah. i don't know. right now i'm kinda focused on Chris because he's been super depressed and stuff.

why are kids so sad these days?
they shouldn't be wanting to make out and stuff
they should be in their room
playing with their barbies and gi-joes
and having fun with their imaginations

Stupid MTV.

Don't I worry can't about stop him. worrying. Everything What will if be he's okay, not just okay? let I him wish know I you're knew there. the The exact more words he to knows say you that care would the make more him secure feel he'll better. feel.

-deanna

Give me Novacaine

hey hey hey it's fatttt allllbert.

Uh oh. Here comes Mr. O'Reilly.
Commence operation: OPEN NEW INTERNET EXPLORER WINDOW.

We're in the library because there was a pipe leak in our room. So i'm sitting here pimpin' out with this coolio laptop.

Ahh. I can't stop thinking about Carl. I'm going through another Carl phase. Well, it's not reALLY A PHASE BECAUSE I NEVER REALLY STOPPED LIKING HIM BUT I KNOW WHAT I MEAN AND YOU PROBABLY DON'T. SORRY FOR THE CAPS, SARAH HIT THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON. And now she was kIND ENOUGH TO TAke it off AND ON. i feEL REALLy really DUMB And stUFF. HAHA this IS FUN. OKAY i'm so FREAKing iMMAture. i FEEL LIKE i have the HUMor of a 80 year old Widow WHO shops AT gooDWILL And adoPTS EvERY cat on THE BLOCK. haha i JUST described SARAH. ;-) BUT Sarah will be a hot 'ol granny AND SHE'll be kickING it olD SCHool witH jake. SO YEAH. SArah LOVES jaKE IF you DIDN't know ALReadY.

aNYWAY, I 'd TALK to CarL AboUT this BUT uM yeah. I don't KNOW how TO telL HIm. WELL I know how tO teLL him BUT i don'T KNOW hOw to BRing it up. And i don't want to bug him ABOUT IT EITHER. hERE COMES MR. OREILLY AGAIN. HOLD ON. OKAY. HAHA NICOLE LOVES ROBERT AND ANISSA!!! OH THE SCANDAL! OKAY.

Enough of that crazy font. Ha, crazy font.
Carl typed that 'i don't think anybody loves me' on his profile in Iconhell. Okay, well, like, i guess i could say i love him. It's more like weird teenage love and stuff, but hey, that's still love right? Yeah well, i love Carl. And last time i checked i was a part of anybody. So yes, anybody loves him. As a matter of fact, Anybody loves him a lot and enjoys every second Anybody's around him. And Anybody would love to be with him all the time. Well, with brakes because sometimes people get annoyed of each other when they spend too much time together. But i don't ever really get annoyed of Carl. He's lonely, I'm really lonely, hey why -- i have to go. now. um i'll finish later. bye

Now... everybody do the propaganda!

Green Day's new cd = <3


She's all alone again wiping the tears from her eyes
Somedays he feels like dying
She gets so sick of crying

^ This reminds me of Chris and I.

I'm singing American Idiot right now. Not too loud of course, because i suck at singing. So what's been going on with me lately? Oh, not too much. Just the usual.

I hope Chris invites me to his house tonight. I want to play my guitar really bad and stuff with him. I want to show him the new little tune i made up. It's not very good, like, i still have some bugs to work out of it and stuff, but its basically the general idea. And i want to show him this cd. Ah! He gets to go to the concert. Ugh, i want to go to it so bad. I love Green Day.

It amazes me how much crap Chris puts himself through. I almost feel like backing off because of all the girl crap he has. It would be like, one down 40 other girls to go i guess. It seems like he lets girls get the best of him and then he can't let go of them because he likes them too much. I'm glad that doesn't happen to me. Of course i always wanted at least 2 guys i liked to like me. But he has like...4 or something. I'm one of 'em. It probably would take a lot off of his mind if he didn't have to worry about me and stuff.

Carl broke up with his girlfriend.

GOD IF YOU'RE LISTENING
(Of course you are)
PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE
I BEG OF YOU
GIVE ME SOME KIND OF LUCK
OR SOMETHING
PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE
I REALLY REALLY LIKE CARL
I ALWAYS HAVE
LIKE SPIKE HIS FOOD OR MUSIC OR SOMETHING WITH SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES THAT SAY:
HEY CARL! 'SUP DUDE? HEY, YOU REMEMBER DEANNA RIGHT? YEAH, WELL, ASK HER OUT BECAUSE I TOLD YOU SO. WELL, I HAVE TO GO ANSWER PRAYERS AND WHATNOT. I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER DUDE. C'YA.--GOD


:0) God, if you could do that i'd be more than appriciative.
WAY more than appriciative. I don't even think there's a word for how glad i'd be.

Now i feel all obsessive and whatnot.
Oh well.
Not like anyone's going to read this.
And the only one who probably does is Steven.
And i think Monica looks at this too.

Hey, Monica.
Hey, Steven.

Oh, Julian broke up with Monica yesterday. I was so sad for her. I was going to like, bake her cookies and stuff but i didn't have any like cookie stuff. Then i thought i'd bring her some frozen reese's peanut butter cups (dunno where i could get lukewarm water though) but i ate the last one the day before so my plan was screwed. :0(.

Can i get another AMEN???? I want to go eat. I'm so hung--famished. I love lunch. I was thinking about that the other night. I love nessesities. Eating and sleeping.

I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives
This is our lives on holiday!

Man i love that song. 4 minutes left in class.... i guess i should put away me stuff. Yes, i meant to put me.
Blvd. of Broken Dreams = My new depressive song = My anthem.
I'll post the lyrics here later or something.

C'y'a all on...[thinks] Monday. Later.
-deanna

What would happen if you crossed Cancer with E-Bola?

I really want to write but like, i need to pay attention and stuff.

I just made my little "web page" have a lime green backround. I kick arse. Booyah.
:( I want to re-live last Wednesday night.
OH! Today is 1 week since last Wednesday's awesome... stuff.

Maybe he'll ask me to come over on Friday.
Maybe it'll happen again.
Maybe i'll be lucky.
Maybe it won't.
Maybe it will.
Oh well.
:-\

sigh. I'm gonna go now. There's nothing more to say, and whatever i've said has probably been said before.
I just wish Chris would realize how much i love him.
And Carl.
But they don't becuase it's just my luck.

-deanna

It's a Zen thing. Like how many babies fit in a tire.

Operation: Dismantle Booty Bomb

has commenced!!!! :0)
Monica thinks her mom would also take part in our little scheme as well, because Monica thinks she's about to pull the plug on Booty Bomb anyway. The only reason i thought of the whole plan was because John Lennon (ah, creative use of code name) said he'd do ANYTHING for a certain musical device. So i'm going to get it before he does, then Monica said i could offer my price. I thought he'd just be so happy that i'd got it for him that he'd love me eternally or something and ask me out. It's really a pathetic scheme, and that is why i was just joking. But Monica thinks it is a good idea so we're going to go ahead and carry out the mission. hee hee hee.

So how have all of you people been?
Good?
Not too good?
Awesome?
Horrible?
Anything in between?

I want to make a healthy....

....
...
....
...

non-fat or low-fat....

....
...
....
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healthy....

....
...

Blizzard.

Ahhhh. Bingo es muy guapo. It kinda sucks that he doesn't like me, like that. We're friends though, and that's good enough for me. He's so hot though. Anyway, i miss Chris. I haven't talked to him since Thursday. He went out of town Friday night and i don't know if he's back or not. I can't believe he likes me, or that we kissed. Of all people, i would have thought it wouldn't have been him. It's not a bad thing, no it's great, but like i never thought he'd ever feel the same way i did. Let alone kiss me. It's nice to like someone and for them to like you back. I told Steven about it and he asked me why we're not going out. Well, yeah that we're like best friends and it's kind of weird doubt the fact we like each other, but it's that and the fact he wants to take a break from girls and stuff. I can't even believe how much girl drama he has. It's really bad. I'm glad that he wants to take the time to just hang with his buddies and whatnot. Also, he likes someone else as well. Of course, it's nothing i'm surprised about because that sort of thing always happens to me, unfortuneatly. Well the bell's gonna ring really soon so i'm going to go. Good day, everyone.

-deanna

Uno... dos... tres... catorce!

Yeah. I'm not at school right now, but if i was it'd be lunch. Well, close enough to 3rd period.

Last night. Ahhh. The Best Ever. I still can't really comprehend it. I hate when that happens. Something good happens, and it's so good, you can hardly believe it. Then you start to think you were dreaming and that something that good would never happen to you. But it did. And you can't believe it. Yeah well, that's what i'm feelin' like right now.

I can still picture it, how it happened, what time, where i was.
How he looked at me.
I can still feel his lips on mine.
His hand in mine.
Us cuddling.
I can still hear that little chuckle i made that made us stop.
Then i said sorry.
And then he turned on the tv.
And we watched Reno 911.
Then he looked at me like that again.
And he kissed me.
Then he flipped through the channels.
And i threw a pillow at him.

AHhhhhhHHhHHhhHH.
Commencing girlish squeal accompanied by a girlish sigh...
In: 5...
4...
3...
2...
1...
[GIRLISH SQUEAL ACCOMPANIED BY A GIRL SIGH]

Actually i don't think all of that would have happened if it wasn't for today being a no school day. I will eternally love Veteran's Day for all my life. Because knowing, the day before, was the best day of November ever. Mark my words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow. My mom's going to go go get us some Long John Silver's. I didn't think she liked that. I didn't know i'd be surprised. Wait. I don't even have a 'bacement'. Shocking.

-deanna

What would you rather have??? Too many chromosomes or not enough???

Bingo...

What to do, what to do??
I need to do my spanish homework. I hate spanish.
EVERYONE NEEDS TO SPEAK ENGLISH !!!!!!!!!!!!!
My point exactly. Okay, i'll do my spanish THEN sit with Bingo.
My bingo senses are tingling.... profusely.... i need to sit with him!!!

:( in all things good or bad and stuff,
-deanna

I tried to change, but i changed my mind.

Dear Charlie,

When you say "pick up chicks" it reminds me of "pick up sticks," which is a game i used to have as a child. I do not think is correct to refer to girls as colorful sticks in a pile on the floor, and so therefore please don't use that expression.

-The Year of Secret Assignments
-----------

I'm not supposed to be on the internet. But i minimized the window so she can't really see what i'm doing. [devilish grin]. This sucks. It's a free day and she won't let us get on the internet and play games. So what's the point? I'm not feeling creative right now so i can't make anything remotely cool with photoshop. I made this crap little thing that says "I love Rivers Cuomo" with peppermint looking stripes behind that and a picture of Rivers. I have no talent right now. All i want to do is play Bowman with Michael. Because i know i can beat him. Mwahah. That and other things. Well, Robert is over there with him, so i guess it would be okay if i went later. I just want to be with him. Argh. I'm so hopeless. If Robert is over there, then it probably would be okay if i went too. He's so cute, Michael. Hmm... yep. I don't really have anything to write about. I'm just listening to Fountains of Wayne and feeling a little down and hungry. Sarah wanted to go like super early today (compared to when we usually leave) and i didn't really get to eat anything. Just a crappy banana. [makes disgusted face]. Hmm. To go over there with Michael or to not go over there. That is the question.... Robert left so maybe i should go over there. Yeah i think i will. Just for a little bit. I don't know if i'll come back and write more, but if not, c'ya.

<3 or -deanna

My bingo senses are tingling profusely...

Ahh. I want to write, but i don't have much time left to.

Man. Bingo is so hot. He's all slumped in a chair and he still looks hot. I don't even know why i like him. I try to think why, but i come up with empty thoughts. Well, my mind is empty so yeah. There's more reasons for me not to like him that to like him. I dunno. I'm gonna go. I think i'm gonna go stand with Bingo. Later everyone. :0\.

-deanna

Breaking the Habit

i like this song. it's pretty. this image mapping stuff is hard. i dunno but like, image ready is being all funky with me and stuff. Seggan's supposed to come help me, but she's talking to Alex right now. I called her over, but i guess she forgot to come. Oh well. I should ask Ms. McCreedy but i want to write in here for a little bit. I've decided this will be like, my notebook during 3rd period. Since we're not supposed to have pens out and stuff i'll just write in here and it'll be like writing in my little book, only people can look at it i guess. i think steven looks at this, but that's about it. oh well. Well, it's time to go. I got a good amount of work done, so i'm proud. haha. i'm stupid. yep.

-deanna