...forever in debt to your priceless advice.

i'm like really blah right now.

i don't know. i just don't feel happy. i feel like i don't care anymore.

it feels like nothing is right anymore. i know i'm being a little wussy and whining but i just feel like nothing is going good anymore. i wish i could just stay home and do nothing. especially today being that i'm sick. maybe my laziness has gotten out of control.

my dad WILL NOT stop talking about this whole soccer thing. i know it hurts him and stuff but he CONSTANTLY talks about it over and over and it's annoying. and then he started up about my knee. why does he have to tell other people about it? i'd like to just keep it to myself about how it happened. i don't care if he's like 'yeah my daughter hurt her knee playing soccer' but he goes all into detail and ugh. i don't want to broadcast it to everyone, because quite frankly i don't think anybody really cares about it as much as they or i do.

and chris is bugging the living hell out of me. he IMed me yesterday and was like asking me questions about the night he kissed me, and if it would've gone any farther. what the heck? if he considers us best friends, HE SHOULD'VE ALREADY HAVE KNOWN THAT I'M SO NOT LIKE THAT. I AM NOT A FREAKING WHORE. I'M GLAD NOTHING HAPPENED OTHER THAN THAT BECAUSE HE DIDN'T REALLY LIKE ME ANYWAY. THAT FREAKING LOSER LIED AND FORGOT ABOUT ME QUICKER THAN YOU CAN SAY "BOOTY AND THE BLOWFISH."

IT SEEMS HE FORGOT WE WERE EVEN FRIENDS.

Then he had the nerve to ask, "do u wear thongs"

OMGWTFBBQ.
WHY DOES HE EVEN CARE?
uhh cuz u have a nice ass
SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU CARED?
SINCE WHEN HAS ANYBODY?
GAHHHHHH....FREAKING IDIOT.

HE'S THE LAST PERSON I THINK WOULD CARE. SINCE WHEN?? SERIOUSLY! UGH. HE NEVER TALKS TO ME ANYMORE. WE DON'T TALK ABOUT STUFF LIKE WE USED TO. (OKAY I THINK I'M DONE LIKE "YELLING" SO MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE THE CAPS LOCK OFF.) i'm just appalled that he would tell me that when he never really talks to me anyway. he's got kristin, why doesn't he just ask her. he obviously cares more about her than me.

I JUST WANT SOME FREAKING LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IS THAT TOO MUCH TO FREAKING ASK?????????

I FREAKING WANT A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!
FREAKINGOMGBBQ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm in a state of complete and utter lonelyness.
i'd feel okay if bingo came over here but he's over there with seggan probably giving her (like monica said) some "non-meth induced physical affection" of which i could really use right now.

BINGO PLEASE COME OVER HERE AND GIVE ME SOME NON-METH INDUCED PURE PHYSICAL AFFECTION!



ANYTHING!



HUG!



HAND SHAKE!



A NICE WALK ON THE BEACH!



I DON'T CARE!



JUST S-O-M-E-T-H-I-N-G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


A NICE CHAT!


ANYTHING!



I'M LIKE BEGGING!





AND IT'S PATHETIC!





PLEASE!




fine. no one's going to come over here. i'm a lonely pathetic soul.

i told danny that i like carl.
but i said "filatioman"
because it's funny.

i wonder if monica will want to go for a little walk today. i could use a walk. i'm depressed. i don't like using that word though. because weirdly i find 'depressed' mixed with 'cutting' but if someone's depressed, they don't HAVE to nessissaraly (sp) cut. and to who's reading this, i won't cut. i promise. i'm too weenie to inflict pain upon myself on purpose. i get kinda woozy thinking about it. well the 5 minute bell rang so i'm going to go.

-deanna