i didn't know this game we were playing even had a set of rules.

i really like this song. i think it's like, one of my new favorites. Black Cadillacs by Modest Mouse.

Sunday i saw Chris. And all i could think about was his wrist. Him and Matt's wrists. It might've looked odd how i was like constantly staring at their wristbands. i like zoned out a couple times just thinking about them. i'm so worried about him. i gave him one of my wristbands and i don't think that was a good idea. i mean i'm covering for him for something that isn't right. i don't even understand why he's doing it. he said it was hard to explain. of all people, i can understand why matt would do it. his dad's dying. it's horrible. but still, it's not right for him to do that. they're so young, they haven't even begun to experience life. they're just starting and now they're sick of it.
chris should be like really happy. he has like the girlfriend that he's so in love with i guess and stuff. i wish i could have that. i don't, but you don't see me digging away. maybe i'm being "materialistic". but what else could bug him? he said it wasn't school, family, or the fact of feeling alone. i can kind of understand how he feels, but i'm not quite sure if it's exactly what he was talking about.

i didn't know the words you said to me
meant more to me
than they ever could you

we're all still just dumb, dumb, dumber than the dirt, dirt, dirt on the ground.

MAN. I NEED FOOD BEFORE I PASS OUT AND DIE. AHHH> @#%$*(@)!!!1one

and despite what Carl said, i'm going to post something i wrote in here. because no one really reads this and if they do, well, they can skip it. and if they read it and it sucks (which it will most likely) tell Carl and have him eff me up.

Don't worry I'm here
I'll wipe off that stray tear
Away go the bad thoughts and tendencies
Bring in the happy thoughts and close memories

Try not to fret
Remember when we first met?
I was small
But you were smaller
Haha and i'm still taller

We had a pillow fight
I had behind the bed and i was out of sight
Turn off the lightswitch
I hit you there
And you called me a bitch
And i threatened to do it again.

And the time
That one Wednesday
But what happened
I won't say
But i will let you know
I'll forever love Labor day.

Which reminds me of the Condors game.
I thought the day would just be the same.
But it ended up being the best night i've had
In a very long, long time.

I remember one board meeting
We sat together
And i taught you how to play Island in the Sun
Man, that was fun.
"I laughed, i cried, i died."

Remember the time we took down the nets?
I jumped on your back
And i fell on my knee
Yeah, i remember it
Because my knee hurt
And i'd never been that close to you before

You called me a flirt
As you pulled on my weezer shirt
Hey whatever gets the guys
If you catch my drift (haha, just kidding.)

Man this is long
Maybe i could turn it into a song
Just for you
And i could sing it too
Wait, i forgot i suck.
Nevermind.

Remember we went and saw a movie
Well it was more than we
More than three
I felt like you forgot about me
And you might've had
But that's gone and passed
And i can't be mad

Then there was The Grudge
It sucked a lot
But maybe you were happy
Because you were with her
I was with Zack
And it was pretty cool
But i kept wishing Zack was you
And i kept thinking about you
Because i wearing your hat

And i remember looking forward
To the board member vacation
Because i'd get to see you
But guess what?
Adam was born that weekend
So you weren't able to go

I guess i gotta end this soon
Man look at the time (12:30)
Yeah i should stop
It's getting really lenghty
And i'm running out of rhymes
But i'll never run out of memories

All in all
This is to say i love you
So when you're feeling blue
Remember me
Because i'll most likely be thinking of you

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Commence happiness in 5......4........3.........2...........1..........


HAPPINESS IS BOOTY HUGGING YOU

-deanna