I am waiting for something to go wrong

I'm really...worried. Not scared too much, because I have nothing to be "scared" about. I'm worried. Worried is the right word.

He hasn't hugged me. Haha. I know it's a dumb justification, but, it's true. He just says, "I'll see you later, Deanna" and then walks away. He smiles, though. Same big smile. Yesterday he just walked by and said, "Hey, Deanna!" and then was gone. Maybe he's getting tired of me.
He did mention, "Wow, I feel like I haven't talked to you in a long time."

I didn't ask him if he wanted to do something this weekend. I totally forgot. I should try calling him today. I know he said he was going to go..party. I really want to know if that's true. I hope not. Maybe that's why he's been distant. I really don't know. I wish I could find my Matt already. = [

You know what? I really don't like that very much. I don't like the fact that he gets drunk. I don't like it at all. I wish he didn't do that kind of stuff. It's retarded in my opinion, anyway. I also don't like the idea of him frolicing around with other girls who don't mean anything to him and him not doing anything with the one who means something (supposedly). Me.



Things have been so weird lately.
Things with him have, in my eyes, seemingly took a 90 degree turn.

Green eyes, you're the one I wanted to find.
GREEN EYES, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO APPARENTLY SCREW NINJA TURTLES
GREEN EYES, WHY DO YOU DRINK
GREEN EYES, WHY HAVEN'T I GOTTEN A HUG IN TWO DAYS

I hope that isn't true.
Because if it is, I'm seriously going to have to ask him, "What the FUCK were you thinking???"
If it's true, I'm going to tell him it's either me or her. He'll probably pick her. I'll leave. I don't want that.

I'll always like him, but until then...I'm going to have to stop.
I need to talk to Nicole really bad.