I wonder, is this is really happening?

Who was that weird person who commented on here? I don't get it, why would I want to learn CAD drafting from people in India? I can't even do regular math, let alone draw a house. Oh well. I don't even know how they got here or why they wanted to be here. I don't think I'll ever know/understand quite for sure.

After school, yesterday kinda sucked. I'm tired of not being recognized by my team when I do something good on the field. For example:

Deanna: [centers the ball]
Terryn: [scores]

All we hear is GOOD JOB TERRYN WAY TO GO YEAH YOU'RE AWESOME YEAH YOU ROCK!
But no one says "nice center" or anything. My mom does, but she's my mom. She's supposed to do that anyway. The only one who regularly tells me good job is Catie. Elissa even got congradulated for my center, when I don't think she really did anything. I had a horrible game. I didn't do much. I touched the ball max. 5-6 times the whole second half. No one would pass to me, even though I was wide open. I called for it, and still didn't get it. Why does my team hate me so?

My mom is freaking out over math. I don't understand what I'm doing BECAUSE I DIDN'T LEARN IT LAST YEAR. We haven't even started learning anything new. This is all stuff from last year. She wants me to go get tutored, but I don't want to. I feel like tutoring is for stupid people or something, and for some reason I almost feel insulted or something if I went. I don't need tutoring. I can figure it out for myself. I'm not going to have some person who's exceptionally good at math talk to me like I'm a retarded kindergartner. "NOW, YOU...YES, YOU...YOU'RE GOING TO MOVE THE Y....REMEMBER THAT, THE WHHhhhHHhHY, TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE EQUATION....YOU CAN SAY EQUATION, RIGHT? DO YOU GET IT? IF YOU DON'T, I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND."
I am not going to subject myself to being degraded for 30 minutes every day.

Even so, I don't have time. I'm not Father Time, either, so I can't just MAKE time. History Day is taking my life by the throat, and like, eating it alive. There's so much to do, and I just...don't want to do it.
I miss Sam with all of my heart. I keep thinking about him. I need to stop, but I can't help it. I just feel so lonely without him. It's like someone ripped off my arm or something. Okay, I guess that wasn't the best analogy in the world.

Hey, I think that was the bell.
-deanna